Critical Lessons from American Idol: Self Awareness and Candor
In early January, my household begins to buzz with anticipation for the start of American Idol. Since the show coincides with the bedtime routine for my daughters, we set our cable DVR to record each episode and then watch the show as a family over the next few days. Over several years of watching the show, I have noticed several lessons from the show about keys to success and happiness in both life and business. Two keys to success are self awareness and compassionate candor.
Importance of Self Awareness
At the beginning of each season, American Idol attracts thousands of people with a dream. They want to become the next American Idol, yet in reality that dream will come true for only one person. A handful of others will fall short of the title, but still go on to launch big careers – think of Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry.
In the pre-Hollywood rounds, the judges travel across the United States to screen contestants. They usually identify about one hundred people to send to Hollywood who have decent potential. The early rounds bring out four categories of contestants:
- Legitimate contenders – they have real talent and potential.
- The earnest long shots – they love to sing, but don’t really expect to make it. When they get cut, they gracefully accept the decision.
- The attention seekers – they have no real talent, but they hope their craziness gets them a few minutes of fame.
- The clueless — they think they are good but they are not.
I find this last group – the clueless – to be the saddest. They have gone through life thinking that they can sing, but they simply do not have what it takes to compete at this level. When they are finally told the truth, they are shocked and angry.
For sustained career success in any field, a person needs full self awareness of one’s true abilities, how they are perceived by the marketplace, and what level of performance is required for success.
Importance of Judgment, Candor and Compassion
In many organizations, people are clueless for much of their careers. The problem is that they never get candid feedback from their peers, colleagues, and bosses about their performance. A critical, yet rare skill for a manager is the ability to communicate directly to that person with candor and compassion. The manager must say what is really going, what is expected, and how to improve.
In many organizations, people try to pretend that judgments about performance do not exist. But this notion is simply untrue and contrary to human nature. My daughters are quite perceptive in assessing the talent of the contestants. We have extensive discussions about who is performing well and who is not. We all judge performance of people in every venue of our lives on a daily basis. We talk about how we liked the food or service at a restaurant, the speediness or attitude of the grocery clerk, of the most valuable player in the game.
In organizational life, we all evaluate our peers, bosses, and subordinates. We evaluate how people did in a presentation, a meeting, or even in writing an email. For knowledge workers, these venues are where performance occurs. Unfortunately, most discussions about performance take the form of gossip – which is complaining about a problem to everyone except the person who can actually fix the problem.
The judges on the show (Simon, Paula, Randy, and now Kara) each show different styles when it comes to judgment, candor and compassion. Paula has tons of compassion – she is nice to everyone – but she hates to make a decision and communicate her opinion. Randy shows all three traits from time to time, but he is inconsistent. Simon is extremely candid, yet this can come across as harsh and lacking compassion. The new judge, Kara, brings a different perspective and it will be interesting to see how she evolves.
It is tragic for the clueless participants that the first real assessment of their abilities is coming on national TV. No one along the way has been compassionate to tell them the truth, so when they do learn it is shocking. The same thing happens in organizations all the time – people do not get honest appraisals of their performance or potential, so when the truth finally comes out, they are shocked. Meanwhile, the assessment of their performance is happening all the time in the background at every moment.
How about you? As a leader, are you comfortable giving candid feedback with compassion? What would it mean for your organization if you could do so? If you really want to see your organization improve, compassionate candor is the place to start.
In upcoming articles, I’ll discuss other lessons from American Idol, including the importance of performance before rewards, the importance of song choice, and finding your authentic audience. Watch and learn.
