The Strategic Conversations: The Art of Showing Up
Woody Allen is famous for saying “eighty percent of success is just showing up.” While there is some truth to that statement, just showing up isn’t enough. As leaders in knowledge-based organizations, the true work that we do is work of influence and inspiration. This work occurs in critical moments that I call “strategic conversations” — high stakes interactions that determine business outcomes. How you show up is critically important – it will determine how you are perceived and whether you can influence the outcomes. In this article, I’ll describe what you can do to “show up” with more presence, credibility, and influence. But first, let me share a brief story…
Showing Up
My first job coming out of graduate school was with a boutique strategy consulting firm in Silicon Valley that focused on high tech clients. I vividly remember my sense of excitement when I received my offer letter for my new position as a “Strategic Research Associate”.
On my first day at work, I arrived to find a box of freshly printed business cards on my desk. Yet when I opened the box, I was disappointed and confused to find that the cards only showed my name, the company name, and contact information. No title. Nowhere did it say “Strategic Research Associate.” I wanted my title on the card to make me “official” and to establish my credibility. I went to our office manager and asked her about it. She smiled as if she was expecting my question, and told me to come back later to talk to the founding partner, Jeff.
When I came back to talk to Jeff, he asked to see my new cards. I pulled one out and handed it to him as he handed me his card. Looking at Jeff’s card, I was shocked to discover that it was just like mine; it had his name, the company name, and contact info – but no title! Nowhere did it say founder, president, managing partner, or anything similar. Noticing my confusion, Jeff proceeded to explain to me why there was no title on his card either – or anyone’s card in the firm. Here’s the gist of what he said:
“We are in the advice business. Our strategic advice is only valuable if our clients can and do act on it and then achieve results. When you walk into a meeting with a client, your title doesn’t mean squat! The only thing that matters is how you show up, the intelligence of what you have to say, and the empathy with which you say it. The client doesn’t care about your degrees or your title. They only care that you can help them. None of us have titles on our cards in this firm because I do not want any of us to ever forget this. When you take out your card and get ready to hand it to a client or prospect, I want you to focus on how you are showing up.”
I have never forgotten that conversation. (And now that I have my own company, there is no title on my business cards.)
The Cowl Does not Make the Monk
This insight about showing up is not new. In fact, there is an ancient Latin proverb “Cucullus non facit monachum”. It translates as “the cowl does not make the monk.” You can put on the clothes of a monk, but it is only your behavior which makes you one.
The same is true of titles – a title does not make the role. If you battled to get the title “strategic business partner” – does it really make you one? Of course not. What determines your success is how you show up in strategic conversations.
The Strategic Conversation
A conversation becomes strategic when the topic is one of critical importance to the business. As business leaders, we engage in “strategic conversations” with colleagues, customers, investors, and associates when we are in a mutual dialogue, interchanging ideas, with the positive intention of improving the organization. These strategic conversations are your most critical work. (For the purposes of this article, I’ll refer to the other party to the conversation as the client – where you are working with them as a partner.)
If you show up for these strategic conversations without paying attention to how you show up, then that interaction is a lose-lose-lose for your organization, your client, and you. However, if you are really prepared to show up in the right way, you will create a win-win-win for everyone.
Showing up in the right way establishes you as a true partner. Even though your internal client likely may have a more senior title, more pay, or more authority, you can and must prepare the foundation for a partnership-based relationship.
Preparing to Show Up
To prepare for a strategic conversation with a client, set aside some time to think through three steps:
1. Consider the business, your client, yourself, and the relationship
2. Develop your strategic intent for your conversation
3. Craft a question-based agenda
Step 1: Consider the state of the business, your client, yourself, and your relationship with the client.
- Consider the state of the business. What is the primary strategic imperative for your client’s business right now?
- Consider your client. What is top of mind for them personally right now? What unique strengths, gifts, and talents do they possess? What blind spots, anxieties, or fears may be under the surface?
- Consider yourself. How do you view yourself right now? What is your level of self confidence? If it is low, then how do you need to support yourself to be ready? What rituals can you establish to connect with your best self, let go of outcomes, and bring yourself to a state of heightened presence?
- Consider your relationship with the client. What is the level of trust and respect? What can you do to deepen this trust and create opportunities to go beyond surface issues?
Step 2: Develop your strategic intent for your conversation
Now that you’ve thought through these step one issues, develop a strategic intention for the meeting. What is the highest desired outcome for this meeting that will make it a success? Is it to make a decision, to brainstorm options, or to craft a plan?
In early stages of the relationship, the intention may be simply to assess the situation and put issues on the table. You may actually undermine your credibility by pushing to solve problems too soon because your proposed solutions may be perceived as simplistic or ignorant of underlying issues.
Step 3: Craft a question-based agenda.
Think through the specific questions you’d like to ask that touch on the state of the business and the client’s needs. Choose questions which will advance thinking and open up new possibilities. I will explore this topic in more depth in an upcoming article.
Towards Mastery in the Art of Strategic Conversations
With this level of preparation, you will be more confident and ready to enter the meeting with your client – and you will show up as a strategic partner. To open the meeting, you’ll want to confirm the desired outcomes and agenda with the client. At that point, you can move through the agenda – but not in a robotic, linear fashion. Since you are fully prepared, you can focus on being present, on really listening to what is being said and not said, and drawing upon your courage, wisdom, and experience to bring the conversation to a new level.
The strategic conversation is an art. Mastering requires intention, practice, and a willingness to make mistakes along the way. Mastery is a journey, not a destination, but well worth it for those who make the commitment to develop themselves. How about you? Are you ready?
